The Devil's Drummer Boy

I’ve been feeling a bit more like myself lately, hence the blog post. Still trying to settle in up here and adjust to every single thing in my life constantly changing. (*gags*). I actually really like change, it can just be stressful when it is everything, all at once, all the flipping time.

Anyway. That’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about people leaving your church. Because it happens. Sometimes it sucks, and sometimes you want to throw a party with kittens, puppies, cake, and ungodly amounts of alcohol involved. (We are apart of a dry denomination...so that was meant to be a joke).

At our last church, the first lady who left that dramatically changed our lives and the way the church ran was this little old gray haired lady who thought she ran the place. She once walked into our house, pointed her bony little finger at my husband and started screaming bloody murder at him simply because he had moved a couple items around at the church yard sale that was happening IN OUR BACKYARD. There are multiple other stories; much, much worse ones. She was borderline evil. I can’t say fully evil because I am not God and cannot send her to hell. If I were, well, it would be an easy choice. (I’m probably going to hell for that comment...Oops.)

The second group of people to leave our previous church that kind of rocked our world, were close friends of ours. They stopped showing up one month and never came back. We reached out to them numerous times, and they said it had nothing to do with us, they were just busy and did not have time to come to church every Sunday. This was devastating. These were people we met with every Thursday for coffee and spent a lot of time just hanging out with them outside of church. They bought us Christmas gifts every year and spoiled us at any chance they got. They were one of the few couples who we truly felt cared for us at that church. When they left, we were constantly asked where they were, why they left, and if they were going to come back. No one bothered to reach out to them other than us and another couple we were close with. Everyone seemingly cared, but did not actually act on those feelings. This entire situation hurt so bad. We thought they were our friends and they up and left right in the middle of one of the most difficult trials we had faced as ministers and as a couple. These situations suck.

Now that we are at a new church, we have had about three elderly couples leave our church. These are all ice cream & cake party situations. So much so that when I walked into church yesterday, two women came up to me clapping and bouncing up and down in excitement. I joined them. It feels good to have ridiculous people out. We in no way, shape, or form encouraged these couples to leave, my husband just simply did not “bow down” to their demands and allow them to treat him like a doormat. They literally called their concerns “demands” and said they were boycotting the music portion of the service until we switched it to all hymns. I believe they thought leaving would cause us to be in a bind and beg them to stay by changing everything they wanted changed. Boy, were they wrong. They also continually said that the drums were unnecessary, too loud, and the biggest issue the church was facing. Apparently, we should get rid of them AND told someone who still attends our church that if they continue to come to our church, they will lose their salvation...over music, specifically drums. He's not drumming for Satan! He's not Satan's drummer boy! I guess a lot of us are going to hell if they're right.

I’ll be honest with you; I’m not sure how the church is going to survive without the adjustment of a service to attract a younger congregation. Let’s have some brutal honesty; most of my denominations churches are filled with elderly people who want things their way who are going to die soon. I do not say that morbidly at all. I say that as a fact that needs to be addressed. Churches are dying left and right because we have no younger people stepping up to take charge of the church and make it what it needs to be to survive. How can we motivate them to do this if they are not attracted to simply show up first? Okay. Okay. I’m done with that subject. If I don’t stop now, I’ll just keep writing and y’all will no longer be reading a blog, but a book. Again, something else I need to write about at another time because I could probably write 100 pages about it.

Most people who threaten to leave over “issues” are leaving over small, insignificant, non-kingdom building issues. People who are leaving for real problems in the church do not threaten to leave; they simply follow God’s calling and get the heck out. It’s amazing how people think that leaving or threatening to leave will promote change. They’re actually taking quite the risk by making these threats. A large majority of the time, these people believe they are the most valuable members of the church and do not actually plan to leave. Instead, they expect that their value will be acknowledged and the church will make the necessary changes to keep them attending. I thank God for a husband who does not live this way. I don’t care if they give $50,000 to the church on a weekly basis; if they are tearing down the Kingdom of God, their money is worthless. I stand by that. Our churches need to be ran like businesses to an extent, but people who are chasing others away by gossiping and disrespecting those around them should not be given special treatment simply over money. This is about growing God’s kingdom, not raising money. If we are following God’s will and allowing Him to grow His Kingdom through us, then he will take care of the rest. End of story.

My husband and I are not ones to beg people to be in our lives. We have done that before with certain friendships and after we spent months trying to fix them only to realize all our efforts were pointless, we decided that was the last time. I say that to point out, if someone leaves our church, we are not going to beg them to come back unless we feel a very strong calling from God to do so. Most of the time, God is working to remove people out of your church or life for a reason. Not always, but it is definitely the case in every situation above; even the sucky one. Guys, don’t go begging the devil's real drummer boy to come back to your church. Obviously those people are not Satan incarnate. However, if they are causing problems that are destroying your efforts to build God’s Kingdom, while also believing they are following God’s will, then they are not working for God and are beating the wrong drum, which according to them is sending them to hell; because it's a drum. Stop trying to bring them back. STOP. IT….Unless God says otherwise, move on and repeat after me: Bye Felicia.