YASSSSSS Girl!

It’s been a while, y’all! As you can tell from my most recent Instagram post (or the meme below), I’ve had to learn how to say no in this whole ministry thing that I think we are doing. My birthday was May 18th, which was a Saturday. Also the day I got my car stuck in a mudslide and almost rolled it down a hill. But that’s another story for another time. Some very nice exchange students from Ohio State helped my husband and I get it out, so everything is fine.

ANYWAY. A lady approached my husband a few weeks before stating that she was going to hold a lady’s luncheon and that she wanted the “leader of the church ladies” to join them. Joey gave her an odd look and she said that I, as the pastors wife, am the leader of the ladies. Ooooookay, darling. I am definitely a natural born leader. I possess very strong management skills and handle most confrontation VERY well. HOWEVER. That DOES NOT make me the leader of the women in this church.

I can lead you to a state park. I can lead you to a good coffee shop. But I am not able to lead you to a better relationship with God. That is not my calling, nor my strong point. I can lead TEENAGERS to a strong relationship with God, but when it comes to petty, gossipy women? Nope. Not happening. You gotta ride that train yourself, sister. On that note, I do not now where the tradition of a pastor’s wife leading the women’s ministry, or worship, or children’s ministry came from. Maybe I’m missing something, but the Bible only talks about a woman supporting her husband in the church; NOT the rest of the women. Just. Sayin. Obviously God gives us each our own calling. Which if he’s called you to do that, then that’s awesome! But He hasn’t called all of us to lead the other women in this fashion.

It definitely makes it easier to say no when you have a strong willed husband supporting you. He not only told her I am not the leader of the ladies, but also that I would not be attending the luncheon on my birthday. He’s kinda perfect. :)

I have had so many weird things come up that I have learned how to say no to. These include taking a week of vacation time from my job to bake pies for a fundraiser, to asking my husband if a group of ladies can spend $800 on tables for the fellowship hall because they did not want to ask the church board themselves. It gets easier the weirder things get. Why no, strange man. I will not pay for your vacation at a hotel because you want to spend another day with family. No, awkward lady; I will not “autograph” your Bible. *WHAT*

Then one day someone will come along and ask you to meet with them about a very serious situation while your own father is in the hospital...and you learn to say, “No. I apologize, but my father is in the hospital and I need to go see him.” Those are hard. It’s hard to put your own family and self above those in the church at times, but you have to if you want to stay emotionally and spiritually healthy.

I’ve talked to a lot of you pastor’s wives who are reading this. I’m starting to believe that many pastors are people plea

sers and that their wives are typically the ones who say no more often. That doesn’t mean we do not struggle with this at times. Anymore, I tend to turn into a ball of fire that says “Nope” before they can even get the full request out.

Someone is always going to expect you to be their “Yes Girl”. Learn to say no. Say no to drugs. Say no to perverts. And most importantly in our situation, say no to church members when you know you need to. You’ll thank yourself later for it.